Well, friends, it's been three months since we returned from America and Soren started in Paivakoti. It's been a game changer for everyone. Let's talk about what paivakoti is, why we are using it, and what the biggest differences are from American day care.
Paivakoti literally translates to day home in Finnish. It is a public service, closer to public schooling in the states, so placement is guaranteed within certain conditions. It covers every child over 1 until school age, which starts at 7. Although one is the minimum age, maternity leave is generous enough that many do not start until 3.
Soren is attending out neighborhood Paivakoti for half days. The paivakoti is the first floor of the building, while school age classes are on the second floor. Soren has a group of roughly 15 kids, where he is the youngest, and the next youngest is 6 months older. He is the only one not walking, the only one doing half days, and the only one without a Finnish parent. But that isn't a bad thing - he is beloved by the children in his group, and he has learned so much from them.
(Soren's first day of school was picture day!)
So why is Soren in Paivakoti?
1. Exposure to other kids
At home, Soren just has me, and I am boring. Sure, we go places with other kids and we have play dates, but paivakoti gets him much more exposure to socialize.
Since we started paivakoti, Soren has really blossomed. He has friends that he copies and follows around. He started wanting to use silverware and drink from real cups, which was not something he got from us (we tend to use water bottles at home). He learned to make "truck sounds" from the other boys. He has learned to react to other kids, rather than just watching as they bulldoze into him or take his toys. He's had a few scratches and one bite, but he also has a best friend he adores and teachers he loves.
2. Exposure to another language
We might be learning Finnish, but we are a long way from speaking it in a reasonable way. Soren gets the advantage of learning a second native language, and he might even help us along the way! It's hard to pretend that Finnish will be very useful in his adult life, but we hope it will give his brain the flexibility around languages that will make learning easier for him when he grow up.
(His school uses educational songs from the Kielinuppu youtube channel)
3. Trust for other adults
As I mentioned previously, I am just me. We live so far from family that he rarely has anyone care for him other than mom and dad. Before he learned to drink from a straw, he literally was never away from me for more than 3 hours because he didn't take bottles.
At paivakoti, he has learned that being away from mom and dad is okay, and that other adults are trustworthy. This was a foundation I really wanted to start early, because I feel that it changes the way kids perceive the world as they grow. Finland is an extremely trusting society (kids generally walk themselves to school and take the metro alone by age 7), and I want Soren to benefit from that.
4. Sanity for Mom
As mentioned above, I got very little free time. 2.5 hours a day of being alone has allowed me to reclaim my identity and do things it's impossible to do with a toddler in tow. Like get a hair cut. Or deep clean parts of the house. Or do more serious Finnish studying.
It also helps that the firm schedule helped Soren finally adopt a good nap schedule. No more sleeping only in my arms, or taking irregular short naps. He now sleeps a solid 2-3 hour in his crib every day, which makes everyone a lot happier.
Biggest differences between Finland and America
(by someone who never had a kid in American daycare)
1. The cost $$$$$$$
The daycares available by our American home cost more per week than paivakoti costs per month. And we pay the full rate - most Finnish parents have the cost subsidized. This gives us much more flexibility.
2. The age mixing
As I mentioned before, Soren has strongly benefited from the mix of ages and his older best friends.
Rather than only playing with kids with a similar developmental level, he is continuously challenged. For example, he is the only non-walker and has to work to keep up, which (hopefully) will motivate him to walk sooner. There is a downside that he isn't necessarily interested in many of the activities the older kids can do, and that can make him jealous. However, his classmates adore him as the pieni vauva (little baby) so if anything he is more frequently getting special treatment.
3. The transition
I have never transitioned a baby to daycare in the US, but I know that I wouldn't have had the extra leave to do what Finland does. Parents attend with their child for the first week, minimum, to help the adjustment. For Soren, that was 2 weeks, because he was very young and I had the free time to do so. This helped us both, because I could see that Soren was happily playing when I started leaving, and I could slowly adjust how long he was there for as we were more comfortable.
4. The outdoor adventures
As an American, I call these field trips, though they look very different. There are no big yellow busses, but instead a lot of yellow vests. Even the little kids mostly walk themselves for adventures to the nearby forests, learning farms, the zoo, and bigger parks. Neighborhood residents (generally retirees) help by bringing homemade snacks and providing extra supervision. The kids walk holding on to a long rope so nobody gets lost. When they are older, they take large groups onto the metro for more exciting locations.
At Soren's age group, these are mostly short half day trips. They with less gravity than I'm used too - I remember weeks of announcements leading up to the simplest trips when I was in school, but I usually find out about Soren's when I pick him up!
Even when they don't go on adventures, Soren is outside for play at least 2-3 times per week, and all kids play outside around afternoon pickup time.
(random image from google - not Soren's class)
5. The summer shut down
July is odd in Finland. Everyone who can takes the whole month off to travel to summer homes or warmer countries. This is nearly everybody, because laws regarding vacation are strict here. Restaurants close. Many businesses close. The streets are quiet. Offices are quieter.
Understandably, few paivakotis remain open. You have the option of sending your children to an open alternate school if yours is closed, but we aren't doing that. Its not worth adjusting to new teachers and classmates for 1 month.
So for July, Soren is home again. It's nice to have relaxed mornings with him again, but I can tell he misses school - he throws a tantrum if we walk past the gate without going in! But it's just one month, so we will try to fit in more travel with the rest of the country!
Paivakoti literally translates to day home in Finnish. It is a public service, closer to public schooling in the states, so placement is guaranteed within certain conditions. It covers every child over 1 until school age, which starts at 7. Although one is the minimum age, maternity leave is generous enough that many do not start until 3.
Soren is attending out neighborhood Paivakoti for half days. The paivakoti is the first floor of the building, while school age classes are on the second floor. Soren has a group of roughly 15 kids, where he is the youngest, and the next youngest is 6 months older. He is the only one not walking, the only one doing half days, and the only one without a Finnish parent. But that isn't a bad thing - he is beloved by the children in his group, and he has learned so much from them.
(Soren's first day of school was picture day!)
So why is Soren in Paivakoti?
1. Exposure to other kids
At home, Soren just has me, and I am boring. Sure, we go places with other kids and we have play dates, but paivakoti gets him much more exposure to socialize.
Since we started paivakoti, Soren has really blossomed. He has friends that he copies and follows around. He started wanting to use silverware and drink from real cups, which was not something he got from us (we tend to use water bottles at home). He learned to make "truck sounds" from the other boys. He has learned to react to other kids, rather than just watching as they bulldoze into him or take his toys. He's had a few scratches and one bite, but he also has a best friend he adores and teachers he loves.
2. Exposure to another language
We might be learning Finnish, but we are a long way from speaking it in a reasonable way. Soren gets the advantage of learning a second native language, and he might even help us along the way! It's hard to pretend that Finnish will be very useful in his adult life, but we hope it will give his brain the flexibility around languages that will make learning easier for him when he grow up.
(His school uses educational songs from the Kielinuppu youtube channel)
3. Trust for other adults
As I mentioned previously, I am just me. We live so far from family that he rarely has anyone care for him other than mom and dad. Before he learned to drink from a straw, he literally was never away from me for more than 3 hours because he didn't take bottles.
At paivakoti, he has learned that being away from mom and dad is okay, and that other adults are trustworthy. This was a foundation I really wanted to start early, because I feel that it changes the way kids perceive the world as they grow. Finland is an extremely trusting society (kids generally walk themselves to school and take the metro alone by age 7), and I want Soren to benefit from that.
4. Sanity for Mom
As mentioned above, I got very little free time. 2.5 hours a day of being alone has allowed me to reclaim my identity and do things it's impossible to do with a toddler in tow. Like get a hair cut. Or deep clean parts of the house. Or do more serious Finnish studying.
It also helps that the firm schedule helped Soren finally adopt a good nap schedule. No more sleeping only in my arms, or taking irregular short naps. He now sleeps a solid 2-3 hour in his crib every day, which makes everyone a lot happier.
Biggest differences between Finland and America
(by someone who never had a kid in American daycare)
1. The cost $$$$$$$
The daycares available by our American home cost more per week than paivakoti costs per month. And we pay the full rate - most Finnish parents have the cost subsidized. This gives us much more flexibility.
2. The age mixing
As I mentioned before, Soren has strongly benefited from the mix of ages and his older best friends.
Rather than only playing with kids with a similar developmental level, he is continuously challenged. For example, he is the only non-walker and has to work to keep up, which (hopefully) will motivate him to walk sooner. There is a downside that he isn't necessarily interested in many of the activities the older kids can do, and that can make him jealous. However, his classmates adore him as the pieni vauva (little baby) so if anything he is more frequently getting special treatment.
3. The transition
I have never transitioned a baby to daycare in the US, but I know that I wouldn't have had the extra leave to do what Finland does. Parents attend with their child for the first week, minimum, to help the adjustment. For Soren, that was 2 weeks, because he was very young and I had the free time to do so. This helped us both, because I could see that Soren was happily playing when I started leaving, and I could slowly adjust how long he was there for as we were more comfortable.
4. The outdoor adventures
As an American, I call these field trips, though they look very different. There are no big yellow busses, but instead a lot of yellow vests. Even the little kids mostly walk themselves for adventures to the nearby forests, learning farms, the zoo, and bigger parks. Neighborhood residents (generally retirees) help by bringing homemade snacks and providing extra supervision. The kids walk holding on to a long rope so nobody gets lost. When they are older, they take large groups onto the metro for more exciting locations.
At Soren's age group, these are mostly short half day trips. They with less gravity than I'm used too - I remember weeks of announcements leading up to the simplest trips when I was in school, but I usually find out about Soren's when I pick him up!
Even when they don't go on adventures, Soren is outside for play at least 2-3 times per week, and all kids play outside around afternoon pickup time.
(random image from google - not Soren's class)
5. The summer shut down
July is odd in Finland. Everyone who can takes the whole month off to travel to summer homes or warmer countries. This is nearly everybody, because laws regarding vacation are strict here. Restaurants close. Many businesses close. The streets are quiet. Offices are quieter.
Understandably, few paivakotis remain open. You have the option of sending your children to an open alternate school if yours is closed, but we aren't doing that. Its not worth adjusting to new teachers and classmates for 1 month.
So for July, Soren is home again. It's nice to have relaxed mornings with him again, but I can tell he misses school - he throws a tantrum if we walk past the gate without going in! But it's just one month, so we will try to fit in more travel with the rest of the country!
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